Currently under investigation

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Jertf96
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Sep 12, 2017 2:17 pm

Currently under investigation

Post by Jertf96 » Tue Sep 12, 2017 2:34 pm

I am being investigated for a rape that I never committed. The allegation comes from a girl I had a one night stand with, we had sex but it was completely consensual. Three months after the one night stand, I received a knock on my door from two police detectives early in the morning, they had come to arrest me. I spent the whole day in jail and being questioned by the police as well as speaking with my solicitor. It was such a shock and so traumatic, I was in tears, it was by far the worst day of my life. I spent the summer waiting for more news on the case, and now I have to wait until November to hear whether I will be charged.
I can't bear the thought of people thinking I am a sex offender. It is so disgusting, I am being accused of being one the worst things you can be and doing one of the the worst things you can do. I just want it to be cancelled so badly. I would appreciate any advice as to how to come to terms with the fact that you are be ing viewed as a sex offender. Mentally, I feel worse and worse everyday.

pedro1980
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2017 4:48 pm

Re: Currently under investigation

Post by pedro1980 » Sat Oct 14, 2017 9:46 am

I was accused of 3 counts of rape while working as a nurse in a prison, I was charged 4 weeks later and then it took a further 3 years to get to trial where I was fully acquitted and that the truth finally came out.

I am sorry to say that during the wait to go to trail my life was turned upside down I lost my Job I was in the newspapers and people who I thought where my friends completely abandoned me.

The main way I survived this was by having a close knit support from trusted friends and family and was always completely honest with what had happened to me.

Also I removed myself from social media during this ordeal and just focused on what I could to do to help myself but you will find that there might me very little u can do but always be truthful to your solicitor and be very very careful who u speak to or where u discuss your problem as there are people who could use anything you say to hurt you.

I wish you luck in your situation and I u wish to converse further don't hesitate to contact myself

Jertf96
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Sep 12, 2017 2:17 pm

Re: Currently under investigation

Post by Jertf96 » Mon Oct 23, 2017 12:46 am

Thanks for the reply, I am pleased that is finally over for you and you got through it.

I haven't been charged yet, but I have a second interview with the police next week, where they said they will go through what they have with me and question me on it. They extended my pre charge bail saying they needed more time before a decision could be made over whether to charge.

I am at University and if news of what is happening to me is publicly released then I don't know what I am going to do. I can't have people thinking I'm a sex offender. I'm trying to prepare myself for the prospect of being charged and facing trial where my life would be on the line. I am struggling as it is and I know things could get a lot worse before they get better, if they do indeed get better. I have been truthful, but I was drunk at the time so I am not capable of giving a full account, although I remember the incident itself as I started to sober up. People have told me, I will be stronger as a person after dealing with this, but I really don't know whether I'll be able to deal with it if it goes any further.

Also, how have things been for you personally since you were acquitted?

pedro1980
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2017 4:48 pm

Re: Currently under investigation

Post by pedro1980 » Tue Oct 24, 2017 11:35 am

Since I was acquitted in Sept last year it has been bittersweet for me. I lost a lot of people who claimed to be my friends, but I have now realised that the people who stood by me are my loyal friends. I have had confrontations with people who assume I was guilty and at first, I tried to argue my point saying a jury of 15 people who heard the case acquitted me and that all but 3 charges were dropped during the trail and that the nursing midwifery council stated I had no case to answer at all, but these people just didn’t want to listen so now I ignore them and that works now plus it annoyers them even more when I di ignore them.

The main change to myself has been regarding my career and though I have a degree in nursing and psychology but the thought of going back onto the health sector terrifies me as the thought of being one on one with a woman just feels too risky for me and my family.

I just recently started looking for work in past 3 weeks, but it is hard to completely change your career and of course it worries me that people will find out what happened epically if they google me but that is out with my control.

You will be a stronger person through this experience but if like me you will trust people a lot less and will be much more aware if your interactions with people.

The only warning I can give is that I became a very angry person after my ordeal feeling that these where proved to be lying on the stand but there where to consequences for them I when I think of that it still gets to me that they can attempt to ruin my life with no regards to the consequences, but this has gotten better as time pasts.

I really hope things work out for you and remember don’t talk to anyone that you don’t completely trust as they can and will use anything you say or have written on social media against you and keep your answers to the cops short and concise don’t give them any rope.

Take care and don’t hesitate to contact myself for any reason

Peter Barrowman

biz
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:10 pm

Re: Currently under investigation

Post by biz » Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:33 pm

Thank you for both of your posts. I have recently been acquitted for a false allegation made towards me of rape. It caused great damage to my life, work, relationship, finances and my mental & physical health. Unfortunately now having spent time around police, solicitors and the court system I am aware that these types of false allegations are commonplace.
I seem to have gone through the same 'phases' as Peter, the ordeal of being arrested, the ordeal of having to wait for considerable time (it took 2.5 years to end) also the horror and disgust at the allegation itself has rocked me to the core. I am now also in a state of anger, I am working proactively to direct this anger positively. I had never had ANY dealings with the police before this allegation and I hope that I will never have to deal with them again.
The only advice I can give at this point is to make sure you have the best representation for legal guidance, please do not talk about your situation with anyone who you cannot trust implicitly, take good care of your health (both mental and physical) and unfortunately you will need to practice patience.
Please do not feel alone, the hurdle we face as the falsely accused is that we are scared to speak or reach out.
I hope the complainant in your case will retract their allegation and leave you in peace however if they do not then please stay strong and keep your head held high as you have done nothing wrong.
Again, thank you both for your posts and I will return soon to check on new posts.
Take care, Biz.
Last edited by biz on Sat Dec 09, 2017 5:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Jertf96
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Sep 12, 2017 2:17 pm

Re: Currently under investigation

Post by Jertf96 » Fri Dec 08, 2017 1:15 am

I have been cleared by the police after my second interview, as there was "insufficient evidence" which is hardly surprising as it didn't happen. So relieved to be cleared before being charged so I didn't have to go through more mental anguish. I'm less annoyed with the police now as they have made the right decision in the end, even if they did give me the worst experience of my life. However, It's not fair that I had to spend money on a solicitor for something I didn't do. I suppose this makes me think differently about allegations of rape you see in the media, as I know from my own experience that they can be false allegations. I wait to see how this will affect me, it's a horrible thing to happen but I know it could've got a lot worse.

biz
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:10 pm

Re: Currently under investigation

Post by biz » Sat Dec 09, 2017 5:38 pm

Hi,
Firstly, really happy to hear your news. Its always very encouraging to hear when the police make decent decisions based on evidence.
Unfortunately I suppose this is just something that has happened, a very traumatic experience that you've had to go through. So I guess what I am saying to you is get some acceptance round this. As in my case I went through a period of anger and frustration, I can't honestly say it has completely gone away however it has got better with time.
Be grateful that you didn't have to go to trial, be grateful it did not go even further than that and you ended up being prosecuted and sent to prison for a crime you didn't commit. These types of thoughts have given me some clarity on the situation I had to go through. I hope this helps you too.
Again, very happy for you, take care of yourself and keep communicating with the people in your life who are close to you. If you continue to be traumatised by the ordeal you have been put through then there are therapy avenues which you could go down to help (counselling etc) I hope you will not need this but at least you have the option.
Although you been put through the preliminary parts of the process and it has been awful, I would hope that others who read these posts who are also suffering can get some hope from your ordeal as the outcome has been favourable.
Take care of yourself and get on with your life!
Sincerely Biz.

AES123
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2018 5:42 pm

Re: Currently under investigation

Post by AES123 » Wed Oct 24, 2018 6:13 pm

My son is awaiting trial for rape. We have in place a really strong legal team that he is confident in. This ordeal has been going on almost for two years. He pretends to be ok but i know he isn't, he wont open up, is on a short fuse and I think genuinely terrified of what might happen to him. He is having difficulty organising himself, is forgetful, unable to concentrate and cant hold down his job. As time goes by he becomes more and more defeated by the situation. Obviously i am so worried about him. any advice on getting him through the pre trial period would be helpful

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