Partner accused of child abuse

You have the biggest role to play in keeping your loved on on the rails during the time of their investigation / prosecution. This is the place where you can meet other partners and discuss the hell that your families are going through.
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Joined: Sat Dec 02, 2017 10:52 am

Partner accused of child abuse

Post by Solost » Sat Dec 02, 2017 11:10 am

Hey there
My partner received a letter a few years ago, stating that his two ex step daughters were accusing him of abusing them when they were 8 and 16 years old. It was supposed to have happened in 2000-2001.
He got a lawyer, and was interrogated. He was never arrested and his computer was never seized (I thought that was something that's done in these cases).

His lawyer then told him not to worry. The testimonies of the two girls made no sense, and it was obvious that the case was at the bottom of a pile of cases that weren't in a rush to be solved.

When we met, he soon told me about this. He had also told his children - they have children themselves and he didn't want them to hear this from someone else.

I know he didn't do it. The testimonies are weird and inconsistent, and he would never ever do anything like this.

About three weeks ago we got a letter saying that the case of the older girl had been dropped. Too much time had passed since it was supposed to have happened (NB we are not from the UK like most people here). What a relief!

But yesterday he got a phone call from a court official, asking him or his lawyer to pick up some documents next Monday.

It means that the case of the younger girl hasn't been dropped.

I'm trying so hard to be his rock. To be positive and telling him it's all going to be okay. But where we live, cases don't reach this point in the system unless it's very likely that the accused will be found guilty.

But I have so much going on in my head and many of the thoughts are so selfish. Of course I'm worried sick about his future, but I also worry about things that don't matter at all like the holidays abroad we've got planned in 2 weeks, and how my mom and friends will take this and how much time I'm going to miss from my new job.

I'm also afraid his name will be revealed. We live in a small country and everybody seems to know everything about everybody. Names of offenders get revealed all the time. Just this morning, I saw a Facebook post naming a man accused of rape, even though the case had been dropped. Apparently it's legal- as far as nobody calls him a rapist. Just an accused rapist.

I can't believe people can make up stuff like this. The mother of the girls, my partner's ex, hates him because of a shared business venture gone wrong years ago. It's vendetta.

Sorry for the long post, I needed to vent. I cant talk to anyone about this.

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Joined: Sat Jun 01, 2019 5:26 am

Re: Partner accused of child abuse

Post by sad » Sat Jun 01, 2019 7:04 am

Hi, something similar has happened to my husband. He had been arrested on an historical charge of sexual assault (makes me sick just thinking about it) just over 2 years ago, he has been in court all this month and I got the sickening news yesterday that he and the others that had been charged along side him were all found guilty.

The thing with lies is that they can be dressed up. I am now fighting to prove his innocence but the allegations are from 20 years ago, before I met him. No matter how i fair the damage has now been done and the people who make the false accusations are getting away with it.

My husbands ex is a nasty piece of work and will and has stopped at nothing to hurt him.

I really hope that things get sorted for you and for me.

The justice system in this country needs a bloody good shake up.

I feel your pain and am here if you want to talk.

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