Advice Please

You have the biggest role to play in keeping your loved on on the rails during the time of their investigation / prosecution. This is the place where you can meet other partners and discuss the hell that your families are going through.
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scallie
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jul 29, 2017 3:05 pm

Advice Please

Post by scallie » Sat Jul 29, 2017 3:39 pm

My friend received a 13 year sentence about 2 years ago for raping his partner of 12 years during their relationship. His partner was on anti depressants, drugs and alcohol, suspected post natal depression, she was a mess. They have 3 kids, 8, 6 and 1.
The catalyst for this was my friend contacting social services as she was seen drunk, kids out late on their own etc. My friend called their respective father's to go and check on the children and police had told him to stay away. She lost the plot, said they were trying to take her kids and called police, she disclosed alleged abuse to police at his point.
There is no physical evidence and no impartial witness statements. Ive read the file and his defence was weak. Lots of evidence she had a problem not used and a victim impact statement from her stated she was no longer on anti depressants or drinking and was happy and relaxed. Her and her Mother's statement put him away. She testified by video link too.
She has just died from drink and drugs, not even 40, leaving three children. Her mother, instrumental in conviction doesnt want the kids and so a member of my friends family now has them.
I believe she got in so deep she couldnt see a way out, I believe my friend was resigned during his trial to being convicted or stunned that she has taken it that far and did not participate in his defence aggressively enough.
My friend was a cherished only child, his kind, gentle mother was so stressed out she has a brain harmorrage and died not long after he was convicted. They managed to get my friend to see her minutes before she died but an admin error meant that he did not get permission to attend his Mum's funeral.
A family and a community have been devastated and divided by this, the tales about my friend in the local area have him as a child abuser, chatting shit. His life is totally ruined. We have convinced him to appeal, we have a friend who is a criminal solicitor who is going to review and advise but I know the stigma attatched to rape and that the 'victim' is dead, may look like we sullying her name when she cant defend herself. Im scared to give him hope but his children need him. He spoke to them for the first time in two years last week and so finally has the motivation to try to fight to clear his name. Pray for us that its not too late.
Im looking for hope in a place where I know there isnt a lot of it but its good to know that people are brave enough to set up a forum on this subject because as an educated, liberal woman I know how easy it would be to accuse a man of rape provided it went on behind closed doors and I know that it happens. Its truly the most horrible thing a woman can accuse a man of and to accuse a long term partner, thats even more vicious.
Never to deter from those real victims of this most horrible form of violence but my friend is innocent and rotting in jail and I have to do something to try to help. Any advice anyone can give would be appreciated, dont seem to be too many organisations bothered about men accused/convicted of rape despite it being only serious crime can be conviced of without any physical evidence.

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