I feel completely lost

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Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:13 pm

I feel completely lost

Post by Justme » Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:42 pm

It's probably easier to start from the beginning, Ive been diagnosed with severe depression and social anxiety for a number of years now.... I can find it hard at times to talk to people.

Last week I received a message through social media asking if I wanted to meet up with someone I'd never met or talked to before. It was the early hours and if I'm honest I asked if they wanted to mess around... Why would you message a stranger at these hours??... I was home and warm so I had no reason to just meet up with someone I've never met before to just talk... I have friends for that.

I met up with this person... Talked and things happened... I I can not state it enough it was totally consensual the things that did happen. Then we went our separate ways.

The next evening I've arrested in my house by 5 police officers and had all my tech taken from me, after arriving at the police station I'm informed I've been accused of rape, serial assault and attempted rape. Needless to say I buckled I cant remember the last time I raised my voice never mind this. They've then taken a full statement and I've had a full forensic work over(one of the most horrific things I've experienced) I've then had to spend the night in a wet cell. As part of my mental condition I struggle with complete silence... I so again I've cried myself empty all night.

Ive never been in any sort of trouble before in my life so as I was telling the truth I declined a solicitor. Ive since then been told I should have taken on regardless... I but I didnt/wasn't to know as I've previously said I'd done nothing wrong.

The next day I was released(bailed) for 6 months. I've now got to deal with this on top of my situation and make people I care about aware of this... I feel physically sick constantly... I've all but now got this label over me or always in the back of someone who knows about its head. It's been a few days and I'm questioning life. Ive got to sort out a few things now before I can move any more forward.

But I'm terrified.. The two people Ive spoken to about this have already said they believe me as I'm not capable of anything like that as a person. Which is good to hear but it doesnt help.

I just don't know what to do. How to be. How to go about things. I don't even want to leave the house.

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