Accused of rape!

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Feelsodepressed
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2016 12:20 pm

Accused of rape!

Post by Feelsodepressed » Mon Jan 25, 2016 4:14 pm

Hi all

I find myself in a really dark place this week as last Friday I went for a voluntary interview without a solicitor gave my side of the story and gave them my mobile phone.

I don't even know where to start..

colinward
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2015 7:18 pm

Re: Accused of rape!

Post by colinward » Mon Jan 25, 2016 5:28 pm

Hello again.

(Here is a copy of my initial reply just so it is in the right place)

Hello Feel

Did you have a solicitor with you when you were interviewed? If not, or if they were just a duty solicitor, if you have the means to get one then get a criminal solicitor lined up and brought up to speed. Do not engage in any more interviews without a solicitor present no matter how nice or friendly anyone might seem.

I assume this is one of those "cry rape" cases because you fell out or argued AFTER the event and this is some kind of revenge (sometimes, who knows that they do it?)

Bear the following in mind:
You confirmed that you had sex, which is good.
They will then need to provide evidence to the contrary OR evidence that the claimant was legally unable to provide consent.
The burden of proof is still on them.

Go and see your GP. Tell them how you are feeling and WHY. Remember that the conversation is confidential but having it recorded that you were feeling so low is important. It makes a formal record of the effects on your mental health. That means that in the future if you have to claim how badly it effected you (mental health, PTSD) and someone doubts it, you can confirm you felt so bad you needed medical help. You have nothing at all to lose.

Who else knows about what has happened?

Feelsodepressed
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2016 12:20 pm

Re: Accused of rape!

Post by Feelsodepressed » Mon Jan 25, 2016 5:41 pm

colinward wrote:Hello again.

(Here is a copy of my initial reply just so it is in the right place)

Hello Feel

Did you have a solicitor with you when you were interviewed? If not, or if they were just a duty solicitor, if you have the means to get one then get a criminal solicitor lined up and brought up to speed. Do not engage in any more interviews without a solicitor present no matter how nice or friendly anyone might seem.

I assume this is one of those "cry rape" cases because you fell out or argued AFTER the event and this is some kind of revenge (sometimes, who knows that they do it?)

Bear the following in mind:
You confirmed that you had sex, which is good.
They will then need to provide evidence to the contrary OR evidence that the claimant was legally unable to provide consent.
The burden of proof is still on them.

Go and see your GP. Tell them how you are feeling and WHY. Remember that the conversation is confidential but having it recorded that you were feeling so low is important. It makes a formal record of the effects on your mental health. That means that in the future if you have to claim how badly it effected you (mental health, PTSD) and someone doubts it, you can confirm you felt so bad you needed medical help. You have nothing at all to lose.

Who else knows about what has happened?
I have booked an appointed with my go for this Friday morning and I will report despresson and anxiety to the doctor.. We had sex 3 times throughout the night.. She must of felt used in the morning after I went ... I remember her sending me a text saying"why did you bring condoms" i replied with "they were in my car".. Then she sent another text saying "I said no 5 times". I didn't know what she was on about and I didn't want to talk to her after I left so I just replied "sorry" obviously feeling a little bit bad for using her for sex(this probably makes me look really bad) ..I have told my mother and father all about it and my best friend they are all supportive..

Her statement was full of lies saying her friend come in the morning and was asking me to leave.. But I left on good terms and on my own accord.. My head is in a mess.. Looks like she has framed me good and proper!

colinward
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2015 7:18 pm

Re: Accused of rape!

Post by colinward » Mon Jan 25, 2016 5:59 pm

Hiya

Firstly, I'm glad you booked with your MP. You won't need to go into details with them, but at least they can be aware and make a note on your file.

Do you still have the texts between you and her and did you tell the police about that? They might want those.

Now, it actually helps you the more lies she tells. As she spreads her lie, drags other people in, it becomes harder to corroborate. The police are very experienced at picking out liars - they can spot them. No matter how good this [insert swear word of choice] might be about lying, it doesn't mean her friend will be. Here's an example: she might have told the police that she called her friend to come round. (If that isn't true then there will be no phone record/text/etc). She might have called her friend to arrange this after you have left. The police can then match the time you left with the actual time of the calls.

Try to remember that the more she adds to her lie the harder it will be for her to maintain it. And to be honest, if she has already said she had a friend there when you left, that provides her with a witness. And yet they still didn't arrest you. That is odd.

A practical thing for you to do. Get a note pad and write down everything you can remember that pops into your head. Anything that makes your think "oh why didn't I mention that" or when you spoke to someone after being with her - what did you tell them, and so on.

Feelsodepressed
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2016 12:20 pm

Re: Accused of rape!

Post by Feelsodepressed » Mon Jan 25, 2016 6:25 pm

colinward wrote:Hiya

Firstly, I'm glad you booked with your MP. You won't need to go into details with them, but at least they can be aware and make a note on your file.

Do you still have the texts between you and her and did you tell the police about that? They might want those.

Now, it actually helps you the more lies she tells. As she spreads her lie, drags other people in, it becomes harder to corroborate. The police are very experienced at picking out liars - they can spot them. No matter how good this [insert swear word of choice] might be about lying, it doesn't mean her friend will be. Here's an example: she might have told the police that she called her friend to come round. (If that isn't true then there will be no phone record/text/etc). She might have called her friend to arrange this after you have left. The police can then match the time you left with the actual time of the calls.

Try to remember that the more she adds to her lie the harder it will be for her to maintain it. And to be honest, if she has already said she had a friend there when you left, that provides her with a witness. And yet they still didn't arrest you. That is odd.

A practical thing for you to do. Get a note pad and write down everything you can remember that pops into your head. Anything that makes your think "oh why didn't I mention that" or when you spoke to someone after being with her - what did you tell them, and so on.
The police have my phone I gave it them to download the conversation we had ..
How long will this process last??
How can she or I prove consent??
She said after the "rape" happened she went to sleep in the front room on the sofa.. When she woken up again she went in the bedroom and I was still there asleep.. I hope her friend tells a different (the truth) statement

Thank god for this forum!

colinward
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2015 7:18 pm

Re: Accused of rape!

Post by colinward » Mon Jan 25, 2016 8:36 pm

Feelsodepressed wrote:
The police have my phone I gave it them to download the conversation we had ..
How long will this process last??
How can she or I prove consent??
She said after the "rape" happened she went to sleep in the front room on the sofa.. When she woken up again she went in the bedroom and I was still there asleep.. I hope her friend tells a different (the truth) statement

Thank god for this forum!


I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you - it could be over very quickly; it could escalate to arrest and formal taped interview; even then, without charge it could last months. There have been so many calls for the system to be made faster, but that isn't the priority.

As for consent... the tendency is to believe women makes it more complex. And the wave has been further against more recently wanting there to almost be some kind of proof that consent was given. Strangely this is only asked of women consenting to a man, and not a man consenting to a man. Although the law itself makes not specific mention of gender, the law is applied by PEOPLE, and the bias is to see women as the victim.

Bear in mind something about liars. They have to be consistent. BUT if they over-practise and are word perfect each time...well that's a problem. Just think if you had sex 3 times which one is she claiming was the rape? The first? Second? Third? All 3 - or just two of them? When did she say no? At the first time? She said it 5 times. Was that twice first? And if you are such a dangerous, scary nasty multiple rapist who attacked her three times in ONE NIGHT....... why didn't she take the first opportunity to run out the front door and not go and have a shower, leaving you to sleep on the sofa?

Why did she have a shower, let you wake up and get dressed, and then wait x hours or x days to report the rape(s)?

From what you have said so far it seems like Swiss cheese! You need to give the police some time though. Don't expect immediate answers, and that will have nothing to do with you or them or the strength of the case. For example, they might decide to ask for her medical records. That can take at least a month. They might ask for phone records - a warrant for that non-urgent, and then the non-urgent request can take weeks.

Take everything you know about police procedures you think you have learnt on the TV, and FORGET it. The real process is much slower. More importantly only 6% of rape cases end in a conviction - and that includes the cases where there is violence, bruises, witness and DNA, let alone this mad woman crying rape because you pissed her off.

And as for using her?

It take two to tango.

jim
Site Admin
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2014 9:19 pm

Re: Accused of rape!

Post by jim » Tue Jan 26, 2016 7:24 pm

Thanks for the good advice here.

Completely support the advice to write everything you remember about the evening down to the last detail. Just make sure that it's marked for the attention of your solicitor. Even if the police come across it at a later date (e.g. they arrest you and search your place), they won't be able to touch it as it will be legally privileged. Just a note at the top of the page should do.

Be very careful about what you disclose to the police however. Most people who've been through this would say that the less you say the better. They're not kidding when they say that anything you say can be used in evidence against you. What they actually mean by this is that they will twist anything you say to mean something completely different by the time it comes to court. In my case, I was advised to go no comment. A very awkward feeling saying no comment to 'were you married to x?', 'did you live at y?' - when all I wanted to do was expose the bloody woman as the liar that she is. That approach kept me away from being charged. At the end of the interview, we just handed them a written statement saying what I wanted to tell them, and I hadn't answered any of their slippery questions designed to help your accuser frame you.

jim
Site Admin
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2014 9:19 pm

Re: Accused of rape!

Post by jim » Tue Jan 26, 2016 7:26 pm

Oh - if you're feeling depressed and want to talk, just mail your phone number to enquiries@accused.me.uk and we'll give you a call this evening.
Best
Jim

Feelsodepressed
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2016 12:20 pm

Re: Accused of rape!

Post by Feelsodepressed » Wed Jan 27, 2016 4:49 pm

Great advice! Much appreciated! I don't think she has even said we had sex more than once?? She said she went to sleep on the couch after we had sex or in her words after I raped her in her words she just froze and let me "rape" her when infact we done it in more than one position and had oral sex.. I really really can't see me getting charged for this?? But you have to expect the worse right? Her statement is not even a page long with hardly any detail on it .. Mine is 45 minutes long with all kinds of detail..

What evidence do they have..

She has had a medical examination and has a bruise on shoulder and bruise on chest..
The OIC dealing with the case just said she needs to get a statement off her friend and send statements to a solicitor .. She really didn't seem to bothered.. I have an incline the OIC knows the FA is lying??


I really can't think of any other evidence they have against me accept for that text message I sent saying "sorry" when she said " I said no 5 times" but the text before that she said " why did you bring johnnys" I said " I always carry them in the car" so basically I was saying sorry that we had sex in the first place because we did both agree that we wouldn't have sex that night as it was the first time meeting her but circumstances obviously changed, she was alright inviting me round and sending her friend home to stay with me for the night alone.

The condom came off during our first sexual intercourse I told her and she said " don't worry I am on the rod" that is her giving consent again right??

I'm really confused on how I can get charged for rape?? ( no charge yet as it will only be 1 week on Friday since giving my interview)

And if I can remember correctly the detective said the FA reported the rape nearly a week later..

Not after her mum sent me abusive and threatening texts over Facebook

... I hope all that makes sense

Look forward to hearing your much appreciated advice.

P.S this has changed my perspective on life and how life should be lived as I was abit of a lads lad and I did shag about.. Now I want a wife and a baby.

Right Fighter
Posts: 30
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2015 4:28 pm
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Re: Accused of rape!

Post by Right Fighter » Sun Mar 27, 2016 12:28 pm

For the offence to be made out, the jury would have to be "sure" that you knew she was not consenting. If you didn't know she froze, and if you felt she responded then that would go towards your defence.

Have you been charged? If yes, then Facebook and other social media can be used in evidence, providing the screenshots "correct a false impression" that the complainant has made.

For instance, if she claims she is so traumatized and lives like a nun, and is scared of men, can't get close to them, etc etc, and you find photos of her since the alleged offence, from before and just after her interview, having a whale of a time, you can use those to "correct the false impression".

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